Playing Small, Playing Tall

Over the past two days I have gotten to watch Akeelah and the Bee three times. That means that I heard and saw a quote from Marianne Williamson six times. It seemed to be the central guiding force within the movie. I didn't know who it was from, so I googled the first line as I heard it for the sixth time. That's when I found it was by Williamson, and that's when I noticed it had been abridged. It's a quote all about human potential and the big amazing thing being the power and ability and beauty that is within a person, etc. The part that was left out of the movie included this line, Your playing small does not serve the world. I have had to come back to that line over and over today. Playing small seems to mean holding back, not striving to reach your full potential. Or in my frame of reference it might mean-not trusting God enough to serve Him as well as you could. Or being chicken to get out of your comfort zone. Or attempting a humility that seeks not to put itself forward. But what if it's a pretense at humility? There is a truer quote that goes like this: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. (Romans 12:3) This verse is found in a section that begins the personal application of the gospel to the entire life and leads into such thoughts as --if you have a gift then use it! How is it that a person can think both highly enough and not too highly. That certainly was Paul's intention. It has always been my personal dilemma. To go back to Marianne a moment, actually playing too tall or playing too small, neither one serves the world. And then back to my own haunting--Is there more that God is calling me to? Am I too content to play small right now? Or is it just too inflated of a thought, a vain ambition, or somekind of delusion of grandeur? This is where it gets too much for me. Jesus played his size. He did not push his hour but waited patiently. He did not take on too much. (And of course there could not have been too much ever for Him.) Still He waited for his hour. He did not run ahead nor did He slip behind. So He is my hope and my help. As I live with Him I will learn to hear his voice--though the challenge against playing small and the warning against playing tall.