John Newton knew what he had been, a slave trader who never forgot the screams and cries from deep within his ship. He knew what God had done for him in Jesus: a heart taught to fear, a heart with fears relieved, a heart amazed by grace. And he knew what he hoped for—an ongoing growth in love and godliness, holiness and joy. He was a pastor and a preacher. And he wrote hymns.
The following stopped me as I sang, the words intense and unexpected for many a modern ear, for any ear that has not yet grasped the glorious purpose of God Himself, for my ear all too often. Read. Ponder. Wonder. Pray.
I asked the Lord that I might grow
I asked the Lord that I might grow In faith, and love, and every grace; Might more of His salvation know, And seek, more earnestly, His face.
’Twas He who taught me thus to pray, And He, I trust, has answered prayer! But it has been in such a way, As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favored hour, At once He’d answer my request; And by His love’s constraining pow’r, Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel The hidden evils of my heart; And let the angry pow’rs of hell Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with His own hand He seemed Intent to aggravate my woe; Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
Lord, why is this, I trembling cried, Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death? “’Tis in this way, the Lord replied, I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ, From self, and pride, to set thee free; And break thy schemes of earthly joy, That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”
Help me Lord to find my all in You!
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